Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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