I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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