you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
