Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
4 words: hood of his car
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
