I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
