Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
