He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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