This is not my ceiling
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
