do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
