Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
