ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize