Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
