I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
