My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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