Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
