And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
