): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
