I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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