Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
