he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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