OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
