I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
