shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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