I'm eating all of the evidence.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
