I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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