just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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