my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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