god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish i was in the wii world.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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