I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
