So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
