i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
