tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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