Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
