I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
