"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
