I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize