My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
