Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize