so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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