you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
