In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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