i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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