you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
