he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
