So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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