She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize