Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
