He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
