This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
