The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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