LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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