this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
