Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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