just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
