i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
