I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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