hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
