no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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