worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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