I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
