Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
