In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
