you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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