i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
