apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
